1st world reality…

Standard

Do you remember that story about country mouse and town mouse? Well, the story creates a scenario where two worlds meet, exposing how different they are and how difficult it is for inhabitants of either world to live within this new context… Let me tell you something, I am a legitimate 3rd world mouse mingling with 1st world mouse and to call it a culture shock would be an understatement.

Everyday is a new eye opener for me, yes, the same Albert who prides himself on being open minded and liberal. Canada has taught me so far that I have been so unexposed.

I never realized how polite I was until I got to Canada. Everybody I see on entering a building I tell good day, however it is rare when I get a response, even when they make eye contact. I may have to cut back on this because it may be a tell tale sign of a new immigrant. I was pulled aside and told that people in Toronto don’t wish to be spoken to, especially during winter, they just want to go on with their lives.

I met a Jamaican yesterday, I knew she was Jamaican before she spoke to me because she had a very Jamaican hairstyle; the Shabba Ranks “Trailer Load” video was missing a cast member because she was sitting in the mall wearing a security guard uniform. When I spoke to her she asked me where in Jamaica I’m from and right then and there I made a connection in a land I have no direct family members. So strange how these things work.

Have you ever seen a building 170 stories tall? Have you ever tried to see the top from the base of this building? Well my dear, picture this 3rd world mouse trying to do so and it was when I saw myself in my head that I realize how frightened I appear. I’ve always loved architecture, statues and monuments and Canada afford me the luxury of seeing them daily. The churches are all lovely, the statues are gorgeous, the parks are immaculate and the fake hair looks real, yes, it doesn’t just sit there on the head, it actually moves with the wind…except the Jamaican security guard. For the untrained eye you may think it is real, but thanx to Tyh and Caprece, I know how to spot a good Brazilian hair piece a mile away :D. 

I love this next fact and it is exciting each and every time. You can check the bus schedule and actually work with it. The bus arrives at the specified time stated on the schedule. If you miss that bus another one will be there in less than 5 minutes. Now tell mi if that isn’t exciting? Taking the bus is not frowned upon either. “Ohh, me, I don’t take the bus,” is a common expression in Jamaica. Well my dear, everyone takes it here, whether you are heading to work in a suit and tie, or travelling home from the supermarket, or just came in with a suitcase from the airport. The public transport system has all types and it isn’t an issue; I love that. I have to give shout out to the “subway workers”. Now, this is what I call the folks who walk onto the subway and use it as their personal runway. Tyra would be proud and I am in LOVE with the front row seats I am given. Can you tell I am enjoying this?

Now another shocker just occured as I typed, LIGHT WENT, yes, I guess it isn’t only the JPS that these things happen with. Now I had to go check if someone was tampering with my electricity source, but it really did happen, light did go for real. JPS I apologize.

I will continue to write about my experiences and talk about the difference that exist between Jamaica and my new home, it is different and cold but I like it and it r the truth.

Drought…

Standard

It’s a long time I have not done this, feels like I’m having a writer’s drought. Well have no fear, I am back….*fanfare and confetti*. 

I’ve landed safely in the land of the maple leaf, dearly beloved. I can say this is truly a first world country. A dear friend asked me if I feel like I am in “farin” and without a doubt I KNOW I am in “farin”. Haven’t seen many Jamaicans, well, except the lady who came on the bus and broke out in praise because she got a seat…0_o, but that’s another post entirely. I’ve seen a lot of Asian, Caucasians, Asians, Latino, Asians, Blacks and did I say Asians already….they are all over the place and though I get confused and wonder if I’m in Asia or North America, I’m just happy to see them. It reminds me that Canada celebrates multiculturalism and it makes me breathe easier.  

I was warned by many people about the brand of cold that exist in Canada and to be honest, it isn’t as bad as they said, just goes to show how dramatic Jamaicans can be. Still, I’m loving the scarves, boots, gloves and coats, it feels very fashionable and I feel like I was born to do this :D. I bought long johns, though it is the most unattractive piece of garment I have ever worn, it is extremely vital for my scrotum. I praise the Lord for them like the old woman on the bus.

So far, so good, Canada has been good to me and I’m gonna do my best by her….miss Jamaica, but welcome the change and it r the truth.

Come outta ppl bedroom…

Standard

I was recently drawn to the headline of The Jamaican Star *vomits*…”Furry Burger eater beaten”…now I had several issues with this;

1. Y is there a need to report on this?

2. Y was it on the cover of a major newspaper?

I won’t tackle the first two issues because frankly, the star is not worth my time. The main issue that compels me to write this blog is how the hell wha di man do wid him mouth concern ppl? Why people think they have a right to dictate to others how they should conduct themselves within the confines of their bedrooms? As long as it occurs between consenting adults, how the hell you should tell them not to do it? Jamaicans have a serious case of TOO-DAMN-FASS-ITIS, it is chronic and have resulted in people losing eyes, skin and even life, we need to stop it.

Now imagine this man enjoy performing oral sex on his woman, he has never borrowed anybody’s mouth, or tongue, he uses the one he was given to pleasure women and nagga, being enslaved by popular view decide to beat him, because him a dem pickney and dem must tell him fi stop it….am I the only one who have issues with this? I swear if some a dem were experiencing oral sex they wouldn’t have time fi a beat ppl…I guess it boils down to jealousy…dem too too damn outadda man.

The damn dunces we have that walk around calling themselves entertainers is another set. Had it not been for homosexuals and those who indulge in oral sex, some of these dunces would not get any “forward” at stage shows, they have no other topic that they can speak to the people on. What’s even worse is that NUFF  A DEM DJ A DWEET TOO! I think we need to get to the place where we respect each other enough to live and let live….it r the truth.

Of suitcases and laters…

Standard

I typed the title and tears sprang to my eyes, it is amazing the way words affect my emotions…

People who know me well, know I don’t say “good bye” I always say later; later in the day, later in the year, later in our lives, but never good bye.

Good bye is too final for me. It has no promise of a reunion within it, so I simply refuse to use it. Instead I say later, yeah I have issues, but who doesn’t.

As much as “later” comforts me, I’m not looking forward to saying this on or before the 21st, the day I will board that plane to experience life in a new world…Canada, land of the Maple tree and Niagra Falls.

A world I’ve never seen, but have heard various tales about. It is never an easy decision to pack up and launch out in the quest to “follow your heart”, never easy to say later to friends and family who have been your safety net all your life.

I went through a list of possible things to take with me to Canada and for a moment I wished I could pack people in my suitcases, no, I’m not psychotic, maniac, or a serial killer. I just want to transport my friends and family to help me maintain normalcy in my new life. kinda taking my safety net with me…sigh.

I read a book once, or was it a movie I watched…hmmm, it sounds more profound to say I read it, so I read a book once that said a journey always begins with a tear… I can testify. I’ve always been easy to cry. I know I’m gonna bawl my eyes out…as my friends line up to give their tribute of love and devotion at my throne, and I shall stretch forth my sceptre and they shall kiss it as a sign that I have granted them pardon for all the years of….*slap* damn, I was day dreaming while typing…yeah, so I’m going to cry, bawl even as I reflect on how much I will miss home…

I’ve often questioned my need to be patriotic to this land I was born in. I’ve often ridiculed her for affording me second class citizenship in the global community. However Jamaica is all I know. She has birth in me a passion to make a better life for me and young Cassanova Antonio Williams esq (my future son who will be a lawyer :D)  Jamaica has helped to shape me into who I am and for that she holds a special place in my heart…forever. I’ve never been away from Jamaica for longer than 3 weeks, never experienced living with anybody outside of my immediate family, all that will change and soon…I am as nervous as a cow in a patty shop, but I am ready…no turning back now, all systems go 😀

What If…?

Standard

What if I were BLACK?
Not smooth, rich black, grinning black,
but coarse BLACK,
abrasive and obscene BLACK.
The make you cringe type of BLACK,
Would we be friends…?

What if I were HIV+?
Not victimized, poor thing, HIV+
but “brought it upon himself” HIV+.
Messed around, sexed around, slept around HIV+,
Would we be friends…?

What if I were CRIPPLED?
not faulty machines, accident crippled,
but broke the law, had my ass clipped CRIPPLED.
CRIPPLED due to disobedience,
Would we be friends…?

What if I were DULL?
Not shy, stay by myself dull,
but a sad DULL, no jokes or dramatic anecdotes DULL.
DULL u scurry to escape from as it draws near,
Would we be friends…?

What if I were GAY?
Not happy, suave, well groomed gay,
but angry GAY, loud, defensive GAY.
Pelvic bone in your eye shoving GAY,
desire the smooth finish of women’s clothing GAY,
Would we be friends…?

What if I were an ATHEIST?
Not agnostic, flat out ATHEIST,
call you foolish for believing ATHEIST,
regard as ramblings, eternal soul ATHEIST,
Would we be friends…?

Life MAY NOT take me down this road,
so perhaps what I should ponder is,
WHY are we Friends…?

Blog shopping…

Standard

I’ve always been indecisive, never found it easy to decide on what to wear, what to eat, what movie to watch, there was even an instance where I struggled to decide which stall to use in a public restroom…:S Basically, it nuh easy fi mek up mi mind.

With that being said, I’ve been trying to find the right site to open a blog spot, guess u could say I’m blog shopping… friends, it isn’t easy at all. I’m looking for a myriad of things including colourful themes, easy set up and easy access for U my followers who have time to sit and read my little insignificant rantings (this is the point u disagree and say, “No Alwill, your thoughts r needed in our life”) 😀

I think I’m gonna settle here for a while, set up a tent, start a fire maybe and read a book…we will c how it goes, because I may change my mind soon and that R the truth….